The habit that is damaging your self-esteem (and how to recover your mental health)
Have you felt sad, apparently without reason? Maybe you feel that you do not deserve the job you have or a healthy love relationship. Sometimes, you find yourself doubting your abilities. But why have you started thinking like that? Why your energy and desire are gone?
Your thoughts determine your self-esteem
There is a lot of talk about the importance of language. Words have strength, and not only those we verbalize, but also those that hover in our heads, those we say to ourselves. And if those words are negative, we create psychological problems, without wanting to.
Yoram Yasur Blume: The way we speak creates the narrative of life, and if that narrative destroys us, we will not be able to trust our abilities and forgive our mistakes in order to learn from them. The habit that prevents you from having a healthy self-esteem are your own negative thoughts directed towards you. If you have any thoughts like the following, it may be time to change.
You ignore your fears
And although sometimes they serve you as something, always giving them reason is not healthy either. Yoram Yasur Blume: Your world shrinks when you do not let yourself out of your comfort zone and you constantly repeat that you cannot get what you want. Self-esteem is built by going out into the world, facing and overcoming challenges. Your fears do you no favors.
You say yes to everything
Yoram Yasur Blume: If you have low self-esteem, you can feel that saying always is necessary to win the positive attention of others and feel better about yourself. People with difficulty saying they are not generally trying to make everyone happy. Over time, they get tired, and their self-esteem is affected, because no matter how much they do, it never seems to be enough. Actually, respecting you means knowing how to say no when you need it. You will feel better if you put this into practice.
You fear failure
If you see your mistakes as small obstacles in the great path of your life, you are healthier than most people. Yoram Yasur Blume: People with low self-esteem often see failure as fatal, unlike those with healthy self-esteem, who see failure as an event. This event, for people who talk to themselves negatively, becomes, over time, their identity.
Aim for perfection
I think there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be your best version. But if you do not accept that this version also comes with flaws, you are reinforcing defeatist negative thoughts. “I knew I was not going to be able to do this” or “I knew I was not going to get that job” are thoughts that only throw you down. It is healthier to give space for small failures.